#JuneGoals : My June author goals and the larger picture.

I’m living a new normal. I honor that with my determination.

My vision for my life has changed over the years, but probably none more than this year. With every new challenge I face,  I reconcile that my time is not my own. Every minute is borrowed from something ( someone) precious to me. I know that and it forces efficiency from my time. I’ve accomplished a lot on a personal front this year. I’m growing as an author/writer on a professional front. There is so much for which I still hope.

No matter what alters my personal life, I can’t forget that I am an author.  My new life is more time consuming and burst at the seams with joy, but there is still much to do as I build my career/dream. I have to work hard, and smart or else all the things I’ve been working toward thus far will be in vain.

I’m building.  My work as an author is only one piece of the puzzle. The ultimate goal is to use it as a cornerstone toward financial security. I owe it to my shifter mate for all he’s done for me and to my littles for all they give me. It is the least I can do.

To work smarter, I must work within my limits and keep my eyes peeled for the right opportunity to push further. I’ve altered my June author goals to reflect this belief. I have taken some of my own advice in the  editing of my goals as I get back to “normal”.  I’m giving myself the summer to wobble, but only the summer.

In my wobbling, there are still some things I have to accomplish. I want to publish two more full length novels before the year is out. Not to mention,  at least two shorts for fun. I still have a ton to learn from a marketing stand point, and my ultimate goal is to hit the best seller mark.  I’m a dreamer at heart. Keeping this running tab of my years goals is helping me to remain present in my pursuits. It is not an easy task for me.

Piece by piece, I build my creative life and I’m thrilled watching it transform.

Having this monthly break-down of goals helps me to manage what I want in a realistic way. So here are my author goal milestones for June. Every task completed strengthens the foundation of my dream and I can’t lose focus now.

June Author Goal List

Title Brainstorming for Second Release

25,000 words on second release

Evaluation of Second Release date

Choose a new editor

Third round of marketing for The Alpha’s Dream

New responsibilities require adjustment. If I find that I can do more than my projected word count then I will. It is important that I move the bar for myself as often as possible. Pushing the limits of what I know I am capable of is only going to make me stronger, better at channeling my abilities. It doesn’t matter that I am figuring it out as I go. It only matters that I am willing to wobble and still pursue my vision.

What about you? What are your June steps toward your years goals? Comment below with your summer plans.

Joy.

#NowThereAreThree: Reflections on the birth of my third child and writing.

I was wrong. Birthing books is not like birthing babies.

Not completely.

On the sixteenth of May, I gave birth to my third child. I am both completely in awe and totally exhausted. My heart is filled with love and calm satisfaction. Finally…here.

My journey to motherhood was as tumultuous as my journey to being an author. My third live birth is one of six pregnancies I’ve had in my life. For those of you who don’t know, there is nothing as unforgiving as a womb that eats your children. There is nothing to fill the void, and it doesn’t matter how far between they come.

I will never have a pregnancy where I am not worried about loss. Ever.

With this in mind, each live birth steals my breath. It erases years of doubt, shame, and hopelessness. It isn’t real until my little ones  are laying on my chest, their little hearts beating against mine.  My first darling, was born healthy despite the surgery I had halfway through my pregnancy.  My second darling, was full of gestational diabetes worry. The last one, when my newest darling was born, was the smoothest pregnancy I’ve ever experience. Healthy, happy, and whole babies came here on a wing and a prayer and much, much grace.

When I stare down into the newest face, I am full of prayers of thankfulness. It is still surreal that my body which for years ignored my pleas for children could somehow bring them forth now. I do not take this for granted.

I have long advocated for a woman’s right to choose motherhood, in part because it has always felt like my body didn’t have to acknowledge my choice. Now, when they are in my arms and I see them thriving and I am humbled. My cup runneth over.

I count their fingers and toes. I say prayers over their crowns.  I listen for the soft hum of their breath and watch for the steady rhythm of their rapidly beating hearts. They are here and I was the conduit that brought them here.

Hallelujah. Amen.

To have them here is the manifestation of many prayers having come along on the tail end of lost faith.

When I think of the process of publishing the Alpha’s Dream, I have similar feelings. There were many false starts. There were several failed attempts and The Alpha’s Dream was published at a time when I was at the end of my rope. It has not been without flaws. There are still some issues I will have to address in the second edition, but I am thankful. I am sure this is what I want and what is destined for my life.

It is here and I was the conduit that brought it here.

My days are stretched thinner than ever before, but I love it. I am devoted to being a #MamaAuthor. I will thin myself out to fill these  roles and that of being a wife, because of the value they add to my being. I am full of joy ya’ll. I am full of gratitude. I don’t take one second of this as common or replaceable.

My writing will take a back seat for a few weeks, but I am still creating. I can’t wait to bring you guys a new release, but in this moment I have a new life to celebrate.

To all the mamaauthors out there, to all the creators who turn emptiness into life – cheers. We are the true makers of this world.

Joy.